why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
