they need to just BURY HIM!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
