I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
