you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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