how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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