just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
