Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Screwed.edu
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
