Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
