how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
a search helicopter?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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