she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize