you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
