He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
