We won't sleep together?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have fence marks all over my body
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
