with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
