Don't you send me to vm
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
