eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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