he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
