You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
