Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Randomize
