i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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