You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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