Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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