we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
