Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
