In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
