I can tuck mytits in my pants
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
