so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
