Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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