I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
