Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
