Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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