We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
