Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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