For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
