She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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