and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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