To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
