this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize