How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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