Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
