I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
