Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
