I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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