Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
