he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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