i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
