I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize