guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize