So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
