dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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