Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
