we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize