Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
