Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
