Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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