Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
