My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Non-Jews are for practice
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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