I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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