Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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