anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
