I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
