i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
