In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
