Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
